Emotional Intelligence Summary
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goldman, why Emotional Intelligence can matter more than IQ as per the Daniel Goldman. Emotional Intelligence book was named as one of
the 25 most influential business management books by time magazine.
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| Emotional Intelligence |
With 5 million copies in print worldwide and translated into
40 languages in this book Daniel Goldman expands the model of what it means to
be intelligent and puts Emotions at the centre of aptitudes for living.
He brings up the ground-breaking idea that emotional
intelligence rather than IQ plays a greater role in shaping our success in life.
IQ is rather genetic given that cannot be changed by life
experience.
Where Emotional Intelligence can be taught to children?
Giving them a better chance to use whatever intellectual
potential the genetic lottery may have given them.
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We have come up with the five domains of emotional
intelligence.
1)
Self-awareness recognizing a feeling as it happens
is crucial to self-understanding and is the first step towards handling that
feeling if we are not able to notice our true feelings.
We’re left at their mercy.
2)
Managing emotions is the capacity to soothe
oneself and shake off negative moods.
Here we can work on shortening the time it
takes to move from a negative state to a positive one.
People who excel in this ability can bounce
back far more quickly from life’s setbacks.
3) For Motivating one-self emotional self-control in
the form of delayed gratification.
Underlies accomplishment of every sort and
the productivity and creativity needed to reach a worthy goal.
Directly depend on our ability to get into
the flow state.
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This is a state of intense concentration
devoid emotions save for a compelling highly motivating feeling of mild ecstasy.
4)
Empathy the ability to read other people’s
feelings increases when we’re more open with our own emotions the greater our
capacity for empathy the more successful.
We are in a vast array of life arenas from
sales and management to romance and parenting.
5)
Handling relationships this domain builds on the
other 4 and is called interpersonal intelligence and it means managing emotions
in others.
Having the ability to shape an encounter to
mobilize and inspire others to thrive and intimate relationships.
To persuade and influence to put others at
peace
Having those five components of emotional
intelligence in mind we’re able to find many applications in our daily life we
are slaves of passions.
The design of our brain means that we very
often have little or no control over.
When we’re swept neither by emotion nor
over what emotion it will be.
But we can have some say and how long an
emotion will last and this is what we need to concentrate on keeping our
distressing emotions in check.
Here’s an example of all the moods that
people want to escape danger is the one they’re worse to controlling.
The longer we ruminate about what’s made us
angry the more good reasons and self-justifications for being angry.
We
can invent but reframe the situation more positively seeing it through a different angle is one of the most potent ways to put anger to rest.
Contrary to the popular theory ventilating
anger is one of the worst ways to cool down outbursts of rage typically pump up
the emotional brain’s arousal leaving people feeling angrier, not less.
Its abetting teacher’s advice on how to
handle anger don’t suppress it, but don’t act on it.
The author advises that we take action at
the first signs of distressing emotions.
Avoid staying too long in low states for we risk developing chronic conditions that are more difficult to overcome.
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Two
strategies are particularly effective in changing thought patterns one is to
questions the validity of the thoughts at the centre of rumination and think of
more positive alternatives.
The other is to purposely schedule pleasant
distracting events among the most effective mood lifters are the aerobic
exercises.
Singing and throwing oneself into volunteer
work helping others lifts our preoccupations.
The formula for expressing dissatisfaction
or giving criticism the XYZ method
The XYZ method when you did X it made you
feel why and led rather you did Z instead.
When you say exactly what the problem is
what’s wrong with it or how it makes you feel and finish with?
What should be changed in the future in a
personal relationship that may sound like?
When you didn’t call me to tell me you were
going to be late for our dinner appointment.
I felt unappreciated angry, I wish you’d
call to let me know you’ll be late and artful critique from a manager to
subordinate may sound like.
The main difficulty with your plan is that
it will take too and so escalate costs I’d like you to think of ways to do the
same job more quickly.
The goal is to avoid attacking the person
and address the specific behaviour or issue that troubles you a character
attack for example.
Calling the person incompetent misses the
point it will immediately put them in the defensive and he’s no longer.
Receptive to your suggestions on how to do
better the book emotional intelligence by Daniel Goldman is a through writing
on the importance of recognizing.
Understanding and managing our emotions and
to some degree influencing of others, the book fossil examines the cost of being
emotionally illiterate in our modern world.
Where more and more areas of life depend on the quality of our interpersonal relationships?
2020 
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